Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
Randomize