It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
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