watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
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