So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
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