i just wanna soil my oats bro
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
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