guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Randomize
