Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
Randomize
