Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
Randomize
