This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
3pm strippers are depressing
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
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