hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
I'm really busy with my period
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