I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
Randomize
