Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
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