Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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