:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
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