When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
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