I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
Randomize
