I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
