I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
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