singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
