I'm going to jail i love you
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Randomize
