It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
Sorry my hands just texted you
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
Randomize
