One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
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