How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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