the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
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