what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
the police officer looked at my vomit and told me "milk was a bad choice"
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
Randomize
