I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Randomize
