Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
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