In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
Randomize
