mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
