you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
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