you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Randomize
