I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
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