that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
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