oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
