Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
Randomize
