Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Randomize
