Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
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