I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Randomize
