i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
