I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
