Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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