omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
Randomize
