it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
