We won't sleep together?
Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
