It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
Randomize
