so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize
