i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Randomize
