I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
