You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
smell my finger.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
Randomize
