i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Randomize