And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
