Sry I called you an 8
your thong is hanging out like whoa
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
