i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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