Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize
