OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Randomize
