We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize
